Toward The Abyss
(A Guide for the Internal Adept)
After perhaps a decade or more replete with the striving To Presence The Dark in practical ways, there naturally arises within some of our kind – who have not, out of choice, rigorously followed the traditional Seven-Fold Way to Internal Adept – certain disabling or troubling doubts and questions, and sometimes even a real personal anguish. Occasionally there is even anger, directed at the esoteric path they have been following, and/or directed at those or some of those involved with our Sinister Way.
Sometimes these doubts are to do with ethics, with the morality of certain deeds done; sometimes – for those with family and offspring or considering such – the doubts concern what should they reveal about themselves and their past to their loved ones and how they should nurture their children.
Most often, however, the doubts concern themselves, their self-identity and their purpose: Who are they? What have they become? What is there to do now? Is there nothing more? What was it all for?
Sometimes these doubts lead to regret and thence to a rejection of our Sinister Way; very occasionally to a clinical insanity; but mostly they lead to a period of inner reflexion based on the insight that since a certain threshold has been crossed by the doing of certain deeds there can be no successful return to ‘normal life’, to living or trying to life again like a mundane. For they are akin now to weary combat veterans, who perhaps have seen too much, done too much, had to make too many difficult decisions.
But such doubts are good; a natural and necessary part of our life-long testing evolutionary Sinister Way. Doubts arising within all who approach The Abyss, even though many who reach this stage of disabling or troubling doubts may not at first intuit this.
For the approach to The Abyss is strewn with many difficulties, which is why so few venture into it, century upon century, and why few of those few succeed. Most will fail. For these doubts, such questions – such personal turmoil as occurs – are only the beginning of the esoteric/alchemical process of dissolution/unification/reunification that forms the essence of what is known as The Passing of The Abyss.
Thus the meaning sought is in this approach to the nullifying Chaos of The Abyss – where all vestiges of mundanity, of egotism, of self-identity, of vanity, of mundane arrogance, are shed to enable a new type of human being to be born. For it is The Abyss – just one more stage of our Sinister Way – that provides the necessary context.
What Are The Answers?
The answers to questions, and the how of how to resolve such doubts, are as always for each individual to discover for themselves. Theirs is the continuing journey; theirs is the success – or the failure. But there are some useful hints that may guide them, or some of them.
As someone wrote some decades ago, now:
“I, and others like me, are the darkness which is necessary and without which evolution and knowledge are impossible. I am also my own opposite, and yet beyond both. This is not a riddle, but a statement of Mastery, and one which, alas, so few have the ability to understand.”
Thus, the answers to many such doubts may well reside in three things:
(1) In the development of acausal knowing by means of cultivating Dark-Empathy and Acausal-Thinking;
(2) In the apprehension of Reality that lies beyond what is conventionally termed The Abyss;
(3) In the sharing of one’s temporal life with a partner dedicated to and following our Sinister Way and from whom one has no secrets and to whom one is loyally bound by our code of honour.
In respect of (1), practical means exist (and have been mentioned in many MSS) – means such as the advanced form of The Star Game. Basically, the person has to become a Rounwytha, then integrate this ‘light’, empathic, aspect (melding it into their sinister character born from practical deeds) to thus acquire the necessary natural balance that makes further development possible. This takes a certain duration of causal Time – from a year to much longer.
In respect of (2), such apprehension begins with the feeling, the knowing, of one’s self in the context of the acausal: in the acceptance of the truth that personal Destiny is an illusion and one is, and always has been, just one presencing of the wyrdful flow of Change that is the Cosmos. There is then the practice of Aeonic Sorcery, such as by means of Esoteric Chant. This again takes a certain duration of causal Time – from a year to much longer.
In respect of (3), if there is no such person, one has to be sought. For such a sharing, according to our Sinister Way, is part of the balance required, as is raising the progeny of such a sharing according to our Sinister Way.
What all this means is that they – despite what they believe, or desire to believe, about themselves – have many more years, often a decade or even more, before they are ready to enter The Abyss. Many more years of experience, of a personal learning.
Acta Est Fabula Plaudite
There are as many excuses for failure as there have been and will be failures. Each failure is just a failure, and the flow of Life goes on, perhaps to the sound of mirthful Satanic laughter.
Sometimes someone – teetering, feeling perhaps The Abyss that awaits and entices them and yet unbalanced still by a vestige of mundane ego – may even feel they have been ‘used’; and of course they have: by me, by themselves, by others of our kind, and by the wyrdful flow of Change that is the Cosmos. But of course The Abyss does not care, the Cosmos does not care, as I and others of my kind do not care at least in the way some person may want. They were told, warned – right from the start. We, The Order of Nine Angles, are as we are – balewa. Difficult; hard; testing; destructive. A natural rencounter, genesis of new beginnings. No you or I or we, just one enantiodromia among so many.
The Way is there; it works: for the few. And it for these few that we reserve our applause. After all, it is just Life changing, evolving, as it changes and evolves in this one small causal part of the Cosmos – a game for some, perchance a τραγῳδία for others; an exeatic drama to enhance our own brief temporary causal living, perchance to propel us thence toward our own acausal life.
Order of Nine Angles
122 Year of Fayen